Saturday, April 4, 2015

A few thoughts

It's the night before Easter

People are all excited. The outfits are all picked out.The shoes, accessories are planned. Many people have family coming to visit.  Its a great time in the church, for we all knows what comes in the morning. There is a full day tomorrow planned for many people. The Church is going to be super busy. There are 2 services ,a breakfast, and family activities. Fun, Family and Friends. Sounds Great!


Not! I just don't feel good. I really don't feel well at all. Partly like I have a bug. But I also have a case of the blues. Tomorrow is Easter. Yippee... Not!.  I really don't feel like celebrating. I know there is a good reason to celebrate in the morning. But.. I just want to sleep. I know part of the problem. I will shake this eventually. I am angry( which I am well aware is a secondary emotion). And its ok. I have every right to be angry and exhausted. A dear friend told me that "it will get better. But, you have to allow yourself to feel" she knows me way too well. I have been numb or ignoring my emotions on and off. The anger is not that hard to hide anymore. The sadness.. I learned how to smile through everything, thanks to a job I held. I am slowly healing. I think once certain things are done it will be easier. But tonight just seems hard. Holidays will be for a while I think. Maybe once things are all completed I will post about some of the stuff, but for now.. I just needed to vent. 

Tomorrow is Easter. I will be at Church, just like its expected of me. And my attitude in the morning will be better, probably. Tomorrow is Really an Important day for Christians around the world, including me. Its a day to Celebrate new beginnings, Jesus's resurrection and His triumph over evil  and what it means to each of us as individuals.
 So, while I am not in the mood, for Easter
Easter is exactly what I need.

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