Graduation prep thoughts

Graduation is almost upon me.

On one hand I am excited.
But..
On the other, this is the world that I have immersed myself in for the last 2 years.
I have changed so much in that time, I don't know exactly how to function in the outside world anymore. Class, homework, practicum, eat, sleep, shower- repeat. My divorce changed my life. I have set goals and am about to accomplish them, and it feels good.

 But.. What do I do Now? Change is coming. That's okay. I need to figure it out. I know I need to find a job, and apartment ,all that grown up stuff. Thankfully, I am not in debt. Where to live, what to do, its up to me! My parents are supportive, I know whatever I chose they will accept.

Graduation.. is in the evening. Graduation Party?? I am so torn. I kind of want one, and yet I really dislike parties. I would like to just curl up and read a book the next day.  But, I want to be recognized for getting this program done. At the same time, I don't like being the center of attention and all the stress that comes with the parties. What to do?  Any recommendations? Also, my parents are moving so doing anything at the house is not a good option. And remember, I'm not working yet so , my finances are tight.

I know some of my extended family would like the opportunity to celebrate my accomplishments with me. They know I worked hard to get this degree done. (sigh) Its not all about me, even though this post kind of sounds like it. :(

Sunday (I don't know what to title this!)

Today is Sunday. Thank you God. Normally I just go to the church next door. After all, its my "home" church, however this week I am going somewhere different. I am going to try somewhere new. My plan is to try several different churches in the upcoming weeks.

I got up early with mom  to pick up snacks in town, I have been up almost 3hours at this point.

I am excited for Church. I know ,I know.. this should be a weekly thing but let me be brutally honest.

 (Disclaimer: This is not aimed at anyone specifically at my church its just me needing to "talk it out")  ( WARNING  small rant )

Some Sundays, Church is just part of the job description. Being a PK even as an adult has some implied requirements.

I am expressing an opinion
If you are a PK this might ring true- "If you live at home you are expected to have your happy little self(no matter your age) in the church pews for worship with your family. "

Its not a stated expectation by most people in the church, but it can certainly have a negative outcome if the expectation is not met.

The other way this can go is that people just ignore the fact you are there, if you are missing they don't ask "you" the person who is gone, but rather, your parent or someone you know.

I don't think it is meant to come across the way it does. It comes across to me (my opinion) as if "you" the person are not important enough to email or ask yourself.( sometimes it makes sense to ask a family member, I understand that)

I am in a weird situation at the moment.  I can't use some of my spiritual gifts, my life is going through some changes and because of the dynamics of the group I can't share it. It is frustrating.

This turned more into a rant than I was planning.

If you made it through all of that please realize most days its not that bad. God is good, and his grace is Amazing. I have an amazing set of parents who love me no matter what. Their only request is that I do go to "A" church at some point during the week.

If you would take the time this week to pray for me, some things are coming to a close and just maybe there is a door opening.

Pax