You were loved

Suicide.

Its a taboo word.

Its a phrase most  think will never affect their lives

The are wrong.

Suicide.

A permanent solution to a perceived permanent problem.

Someone I considered my older brother committed Suicide.

I am not sure how to process it.

He was a man of strong faith, of service to his country, a love of family …

Yet he committed Suicide

Those of us he left behind will mourn and wonder

But in the end all I can say is 

Rest in Peace my dear Friend. 

Someone once told me...

Someone once told me that the best way to deliver painful/difficult  news is just to take a deep breath look the person in the eyes and say it.

So I want you to pretend for a minuet that you can see my blue eyes and I just took a deep breath.

The reason this year has been challenging is because I was in the process of getting Divorced. My final papers came in the mail and I wasn't sure how I felt. I wasn't sure how people would react, the flack I would receive, the recrimination and/or the questions that will probably happen now that I have put it out there. Grief goes in stages, but sometimes its more like waves. I had to find my footing first.So, I held off posting anything on this blog.

Now I can tell you. God loves me, I love myself and my family has been very supportive. I believe that Gods plan is always perfect. I just wish I understood it sometimes.  I will not be doing any bashing on this blog. I am asking that you do not do any either.

When I started writing this blog I named it "Writing with Salt", I didn't realize everything salt could do. Salt can sting, help heal wounds, salt water is easier to float in ,tears are made of saltwater, and Salt makes the flavor come out.
Salt can be abrasive, it can be used to polish something.

God is still working on me, I am being polished.

Pax